remember when you said that dude was so hairy she...
i get wasted and turn into a 5 yr old
the boogie man is real
love me, jeffreh
it's not helping
i dont regret a moment of tonight. even when i turned to you in fear and whispered it smells like fish
sexy hot wang dot com (dead hand shake)
i haven’t seen enough oprah shows to differentiate between her in roots...– millennials are the future, you guys!
gaters gotta gate
you know how sometimes you’re scared to go pee at a friends house because he is a) a boy and b)living in a house that is still in the skeletal stages of construction, but also! c) living with three other dudes building the house so it’s just a huge hobosexual pileup of every bodily function that can happen in the designated gross area?? YOU SHOULD BE that pile of hair is...
wtf of the day
B: “Hey are you ready to get dinner?”
Him: “Nah, I can’t anymore. I’ve gotta study.”
K: What. The. Fuck.
B: I know, right?! Why didn’t he just write, “I hate you, you’re stupid”? It’s the same thing.
K: How did he spell "no"? Was it normal or are you just saying it weird?
K: SHUT THE FUCK UP.
B: I’m serious!!! That’s what he wrote!
K: Gross. That is so gross. See? He is SO self-centered that he can’t be bothered to have his mouth close around words properly! Like, I can sort of see his tongue hanging out at the end of that.
B: Exactly. He’s sticking his tongue out at me.
K: I’m sorry. He just isn’t good enough for you. He is the worst.
B: Well, hopefully he’s dead by tomorrow.
WHAT HAPPENED ON THE CAMPING TRIP
Saddle bags, upper-arm fat, cottage cheese thighs, midriff-bulge (aka F.U.P.A....– a friendly reminder from rob delaney about all the things you have to worry about this summer